guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Randomize
