He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
