if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
I am midnight drunk by noon
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
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