Jerry, you need to find god
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Randomize
