Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Randomize
