I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize