I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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