i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
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