Got a toothbrush?
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
