do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
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