I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Randomize
