What a fucking waste of an outfit
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
There r osticjed everywhere
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
Randomize