i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Randomize
