Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Dick very happy bro
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
