i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Randomize
