Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Randomize
