She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
