Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
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