Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
