I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
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