so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
i think im in europe. pls send help
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Randomize
