Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
