did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
