She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
