Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
Randomize
