can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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