The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
this hospital has no fireball
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Randomize
