toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
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