Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
