yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
