my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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