I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
