too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Randomize
