yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
