I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
