Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
