so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
