This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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