i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Randomize
