I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
My brain says no but my pants say off.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
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