Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
