wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Randomize
