its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
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