I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
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