you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Randomize
