I got a call from 999 999 9999. I didn't answer it because I was too busy freaking out about the number.
It was probably Jesus.
I feel like he would have left a message.
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
thus making me awesome and them whores
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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