took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
Drake has all the answers
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
