Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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