She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
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