that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize
